A screamer

What a weekend eh? First the Royal Wedding, which I loved, and then the capture of Osama Bin Laden. Not bad if you ask me.

A little update on my babus. Let's keep it real shall we?

This little ripper is feisty. She is a girl who knows what she wants, let's you know what she wants, and let's you know how she feels if she doesn't get what she wants. She's never been the baby who could just roll with it, definitely not a "chill" baby. Honestly it doesn't bother me. It gives me hope that she will be a girl who isn't easily pushed around and stands for what she believes in. But there are times when the stubbornness, the tantrums and the melt downs get OLD. Charlotte is a screamer. If you get in her face and she doesn't know you, she screams. When she gets upset or something taken away from her, she screams. I'm not proud of this. It's not like I encourage this behavior. I try very hard to help her keep her cool, and calm down, sometimes I can, sometimes I can't.

Well....I recently had someone comment to me on how baby is such a screamer and how "funny" that was. This person, not at the time of this incident, but in the past told me that her children were never screamers. Oh really? I'll be honest, it made me feel bad. It made me feel like I was doing something wrong because my child was a screamer. I went home feeling like I was a bad mother who couldn't control her own child. Now deep down I know in my heart, I'm doing my best. I'm trying to teach Charlotte to be a controlled, polite, person but let's be honest the girl is only 16 months old for crying out loud. She is a toddler. It's normal for kids to throw tantrums, but it's never fun to have someone else point it out in your own children.

Later that week I received an email from babycenter.com that gives me a weekly update on what's average behavior/development for the age of my child. I couldn't help but smile when I read this.

So maybe this particular mother never has had a screaming child, lucky girl, but I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one whose children have melt downs and throws tantrums. Perfect timing to receive this email update right?

Let me tell you a little bit more about this crazy Charlotte.

1. She doesn't like her hands messy. If she gets something on her hands she rubs them together like she is dusting them off. I think it's so cute. It makes her seem so grown up.

2. She recently learned to walk on her tip toes and it's so cute. She'll be walking along and then all the sudden she's up on her tip toes. Cracks me up.

3. She's naughty. If we tell her no she will go and hide and continue the behavior we had told her to stop. SUCH. A. PICKLE.

4. She's up at 6:00 a.m. every freaking morning. Doesn't matter what pajamas she wears, if her blankets are on or off her, if her door is open or closed, if she falls asleep at 7:15 p.m. or 8:00 p.m., or what kind of nap she had earlier in the day, she is up and ready to go at 6:00 a.m. This bothered me for a long time, but after trying what seemed like every possible idea to help her sleep longer and nothing changed, I've finally come to terms with it. It will be great in the summer when it's so hot outside and we can just go for our run nice and early when it's still cool outside. (Trying to be positive about having such an early bird)

5. She loves climbing on things. She has no fear. Scary.

6. Charlotte loves to come up behind Mike or me and scare/tickle us. She thinks it's the funniest thing and we do too. She can come up behind us ten times in a row and she still laughs just as hard every time. It never gets old for her. She's hilarious.

7. Charlotte smells everything before she puts it in her mouth to eat it. Actually she smells everything (whether she's going to eat it or not) these days.

8. She loves to be outside, rain or shine, cold or warm. Oh how I wish the weather could just stay 50 degrees or above so we could be outside everyday. In January 40 degrees is warm and pleasant, now that it's May 40 degrees feels bitter cold.

Seriously Charlotte makes us laugh every day. She has such a feisty personality. Although at times it can be frustrating to have such a strong willed child, I really do love it. I really believe I will be learning a lot more from this little ripper than she will from me. Isn't that what having kids is all about?

Rolls, the golden bunny and eggs

We had a nice Easter holiday this year.

Our Easter started off with warm Easter rolls. My sister Mandy told me about this book that helps your family focus on the real meaning of Easter. In the book included this great idea to make rolls that are empty inside once you bake them, like Christ's tomb being empty on Easter morning. Although Charlotte was too small to understand the story and symbolism behind these rolls, it was still fun trying to explain it to her and this will be a new tradition carried on through the years.

The book had lots of other great ideas, I highly recommend it!

Easter afternoon, once Mike got home from working all night at the hospital, we headed over to the Walkers. They take the Easter egg hunt really serious. The kids get to hunt and find eggs then the adults compete to find the golden bunny and silver egg. It's always a bit competitive during the hunt, and definitely suspenseful. Those Walkers don't mess around. Well, Mike did our little family proud and found the golden bunny.

Well done Mike.

Love this boy. He's such a gem.

Charlotte got her first real experience with Easter this year. Last year she was too little to go around and get her own eggs, but after showing her that she needs to pick up the eggs and put them in her basket, she finally caught on by the end of the hunt. It was so much fun to watch her walk around and put the eggs in her basket. She's getting so big, it's crazy!

And of course Easter wouldn't be complete without the new Easter outfit. I must say she looked rather darling in her little purple dress and cream cardigan. Having a girl is such trouble. I could shop all day for her.

Although the egg hunts, Easter baskets, and new clothes are fun, it was really nice to take time to think about the resurrection of our Savior, and spend time with family. I especially loved watching this, this Easter.

Hope you had a lovely holiday!

Things learned over 13.1 miles

Annie and I ran the Salt Lake half marathon over the weekend and had a blast.

13.1 things I learned over the 13.1 miles:

1. Temperatures in the high 40's, low 50's with overcast skies is ideal race day weather.

2. It doesn't matter how many half marathons I've done, I always get a little tripped up during miles 8 and 9. You're close to the finish but not really. A lot can happen in those last few miles. Even in a half marathon. I always get a little wave of panic that sticks with me until about mile 10/11 and I know I'm home free.

3. I actually don't mind running with an ipod. I NEVER run with an ipod but after talking to Annie we decided it would be fun to listen to the same playlist for the last 3 miles. Let me tell you, it totally helped. I don't think I'm going to start listening to one on my weekly runs but maybe in future races for the last few miles I will. I was surprised at how much energy it gave me.

4. The race organizers/directors need to do a better job directing the marathoners to the marathon route once they split from the half marathon route. Until about mile 6 the half marathoners run with the marathon runners (for the most part) then the routes split from each other until the end where the marathoners meet up with the last 3 miles of the half marathon. They do such a poor job directing people where to go. Annie and I saw THREE different GROUPS of people who were running the marathon who had accidently run the half marathon route instead of the marathon route. They had to turn around and go back to where the routes split from one another. Ok do you realize by the end of the race they probably ran over 30 miles instead of the 26.2 miles? 26.2 miles is plenty long, no one should have to run more than that! One lady we saw was completely bawling. I don't blame her. I felt so sick for all of these people. How horrible. I'm going to write a letter to the race directors, not even kidding. I'll be polite, I promise.

5. The crowds are so fun and make a big difference. I loved seeing the Littles, my friend Brandon, my sister Katherine, my dad twice, my hot friend Lacey, my darling friend Jessica (who was kind enough to jump in and run with me for a bit) my Uncle Mike, Aunt Barb, and cousin in law Matthew; all those people spaced out during the race gave us the extra boosts of energy we needed. Thank you friends and family! Your support, cheers and whistles REALLY do make a difference.

6. I love this race but it's getting too crowded! Even after starting the race 20 minutes late, Annie and I were in line for the bathroom for a good 40 minutes, we had to weave our way through people the entire race. Kinda fun, kinda annoying.

7. Even when I PR, I always wish I could have gone faster. Yes, I was happy to have a PR and finally break the 1:50:00 mark, which just barely happened my friends, and is slow compared to most of my runner friends, I was really hoping to be a couple of minutes faster. I just didn't have it in me that day, maybe next time.

8. My mother in law is the best, well I actually knew this already. She stepped in to watch Charlotte last minute, when Mike got called from the hospital Friday night and was told he had to come in and work the next day. Surprise! Oh the joys of being a doctor on call. Thank you sweet Carol for playing with Charlotte all morning. She adores you and I do too!

9. My mom is a rock star, ok I had already knew this too. She ran her fastest time for this race. She rocked it and ran the entire thing. Even though I've watched her finish many a races, I still get choked up when I see her finish.

10. Racing is addicting. I'm ready to sign up for another half marathon. Who's with me?

11. I've got a long way to go if I'm really going to do a marathon this year. Thinking about doing one after finishing the race made me terrified at the thought of having to run another 13.1 miles. Again, who's with me? Anyone want to train for a marathon this summer?

12. It might be time for new shoes. My knees were really starting to both me at the end of the race. I'm hoping it's just that I need new shoes and nothing more.

13. I must have a sweatshirt at the end of a race. I shake and shiver uncontrollably. Anyone else have this problem? I'm always freezing at the end of races.

.1 I guess I didn't really learn this one either, but I was reminded during the 13.1 miles how lucky I am to have a healthy body. I love being able to run, and feel ever grateful for the opportunity to do it.

PS Did anyone watch the Boston marathon? I may have cried watching the women's race I can't even begin to imagine running that fast, or really fast enough to even qualify to run Boston. Amazing.

I had to...

It just wouldn't be right if I didn't give Charlotte's second mother a birthday shout out today.

Happy birthday to my sweet sister Emily!!!!

Isn't she a hottie?

Words cannot describe how much I love this girl.

We've been best friends from the day she was born.

Being the two youngest of the girls in our family

we were always buddies and stuck together.

Emily has always been there for me

but she's been especially good to me this last year a half.

As you know I've had a few struggles since becoming a mom and Emily has never once failed to come over and brighten my day on some of those dark days.

I can NEVER thank her enough.

Besides myself and Mike, Emily has spent the most time with Charlotte.

We joke that Emily is Charlotte's second mother.

On family trips when Mike wasn't able to be there, Emily was right there with me helping out with Charlotte. She seriously saved my life on those trips.

Although it doesn't look like it in the picture above, Charlotte adores her too.

She gets so excited to see Emily and never hesitates to give Emily a love.

Emily has a heart of gold. She loves fiercely and is loyal to the bitter end.

She's so beautiful and freakin hilarious.

People who meet her fall in love with her instantly and want to be her friend.

She sends me awesome pictures of herself that I get to use as blackmail.

Please know the picture above was not taken seriously, that's just the way Emily is.

I don't know anyone who can text as fast as she can.

She has great fashion sense, is a stylist and helps me try to look like a "cute" mom.

She's introduced me to Hi-chews, and chewy purple penguins.

Emily even once spent $17.00 on beef jerky for us to have on a road trip in our car,

now that's love.

She's definitely helped me more than I have helped her in this life.

I'm lucky to call her my sister and best friend.

We love you Lou Lou!

Thanks for taking such good care of ALL the Walker family!

Happy birthday!

If you know Emily, please share some birthday love.

Delicious

After a month of opposites schedules, Mike working at night then sleeping during the day, we decided it was finally time for a date.

We paid for our first babysitter. Not a family member, a cute, young neighbor girl! I'm so proud of us for being able to leave her with someone we felt safe and comfortable with. We felt like such grown ups. Ok so maybe Charlotte was already in bed and asleep when I babysitter came. But at least it's a step towards being ready to really leave her with someone besides family.

We out went out for dessert.

Mike wasn't in scrubs or a shirt and tie. I was out of pajamas, showered and had my hair curled.

Charlotte was home asleep safe and sound.

And I had Mike to myself. Well he did have his pager, but at least it didn't go off!

We talked without interruptions, or the TV/computer blaring in the background.

Although it wasn't a date jammed packed with expensive, out of the ordinary activities, it was one of the best dates we've had in a long time.

Ahhhhh, dessert seriously never tasted so sweet.

We need to do this more often.

What do you do to make sure you and your hubby/boyf get QT together?

Do you have a set date night?

Do you have a favorite activity to do together?

Please share.

Tiger Mother

First off I want to say thanks for all the comments on the last post. Man I was feeling the love.

Just so you know....

I think I'm in a really good place with me running. I'm happy with the progress I've made and I have gotten to the point where I feel good physically and mentally with my running. I know I'm not the slowest runner out there by no means but when I run with some of my friends, (ie Katie M, Katie S, Lauren F, Lauren B, Liz G) I feel humbled by their amazing skillz. Make sense?

Also, most days I truly love being a mom and spending time with my lovey Charlotte. However I do have days that are hard and I think to myself that I'm not cut out for this stuff, and I can never imagine having more than one child. That said, the good days are much, much more often than the bad days and yes I will have more than one child, just not anytime soon. One of the goals of my blog is to keep things real and how they actually are. I'm not perfect, (although I really struggle with this and wish I was!) and I think we as women, mothers, friends, sisters can find strength in each other knowing we have similar feelings, experiences and situations. Make sense?

OK now onto the real reason I wanted to post in the first place. Has anyone read this book? I'm dying to talk to someone about it! I want to know your thoughts and feelings. If you haven't read it will you please pick it up and give it a try. It's a quick read, I promise, and it will hold your attention.

Here's a quick synopsis of the book:

From Publishers Weekly

Chua (Day of Empire) imparts the secret behind the stereotypical Asian child's phenomenal success: the Chinese mother. Chua promotes what has traditionally worked very well in raising children: strict, Old World, uncompromising values--and the parents don't have to be Chinese. What they are, however, are different from what she sees as indulgent and permissive Western parents: stressing academic performance above all, never accepting a mediocre grade, insisting on drilling and practice, and instilling respect for authority. Chua and her Jewish husband (both are professors at Yale Law) raised two girls, and her account of their formative years achieving amazing success in school and music performance proves both a model and a cautionary tale. Sophia, the eldest, was dutiful and diligent, leapfrogging over her peers in academics and as a Suzuki piano student; Lulu was also gifted, but defiant, who excelled at the violin but eventually balked at her mother's pushing. Chua's efforts "not to raise a soft, entitled child" will strike American readers as a little scary--removing her children from school for extra practice, public shaming and insults, equating Western parenting with failure--but the results, she claims somewhat glibly in this frank, unapologetic report card, "were hard to quarrel with." (Jan.)

(c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved.

I have such mixed feelings on this book. In some ways I totally agree with her thoughts and ideals and in other ways I'm completely horrified by how she treats her children.

Some food for thought:

Page 62, "Western parents worry a lot about their children's self esteem. But as a parent, one of the worst things you can do for your child's self-esteem is to let them give up. On the flip side, there's nothing better for building confidence than learning you can do something you thought you couldn't"

Page 63, "Western parents try to respect their children's individuality, encouraging them to pursue their true passions, supporting their choices, and providing positive reinforcement and a nurturing environment. By contrast, the Chinese believe that the best way to protect their children is by preparing them for the future, letting them see what they're capable of and arming them with skills, work habits and inner confidence that no one can ever take away."

Page 193, Inferring to her oldest daughter having the most responsibility, having to be counted on for everything, the one no one should have to worry about she says, "The problem is that Western culture doesn't see it that way. In Disney movies, the 'good daughter' always has to have a breakdown and realize that life is not all about following the rules and winning prizes, and then take off her clothes and run into the ocean or something like that. But that's just Disney's way of appealing to all the people who never win any prizes. Winning prizes gives you opportunities, and that's freedom-not running into the ocean."

Oh there is so much more I could put. Just pick it up, read it yourself and then lets talk.

PS Anyone finish Kristin Armstrong's book yet? I feel like the good old second grade teacher Mrs. Walker coming out assigning all these books to read and then wanting to discuss it!

Highs and Lows

We had a roller coaster of a weekend, with many good high points and some pretty bad down moments too.

HIGH: Running one of my favorite races, The Salt Lake 10 miler down Emigration Canyon

Salt Lake 10 miler April 2, 2011

Seeing Charlotte in the crowd, closing in on the finish line

Fellow 10 mile runners

Annie (my cousin), myself, and Liz Grant (who by the way is an AMAZING runner)

HIGH: Running with my cousin Annie. It's been a long time since we've been able to run together since we've both had babies in the last year and a half. It was such a treat to run hard together, chat and push each other to the end. I love my cousin Annie. It was also fun to hang out with Liz before and after the race. During the race we didn't see Liz. She is so freakin fast and took off from us during the race after about 1/10 of a mile. I've run a couple of times with her and it's always so kind of her to slow down for my turtle pace.

HIGH: Watching my brother in law Lance finish his first 10 mile race. There is nothing more inspiring than seeing someone finish a long race for the first time in their life. He did awesome and I'm so proud of him for pushing himself to do something challenging.

HIGH: Mike got home from work at noon Saturday afternoon. We got to spend the rest of the day together as a family

HIGH: Hanging out with my mom and sister Saturday evening. I love a night with my girls.

LOW: Feeling horribly sick Saturday night after pounding a burger and fries from Wendy's. Why do I allow myself to eat crap? Thought I would throw up for sure. Killed any sort of fun Saturday night plans once Mike got home from the Priesthood session of General Conference.

LOW: Charlotte waking up at 5:55 a.m. Sunday morning. I'm an early bird but not THAT early. I'm soooooooo over these early morning wakings. I'd even take 6:30 a.m. at this point.

LOW: Seeing the ground covered with snow Sunday morning, and having it snow throughout the day on Sunday. Rain, I'll take, even a cold rain but please no more snow.

LOW: Feeling super down and depressed Sunday. I don't know if it was the weather, the super early morning, or having Mike go to work for another 30 hours knowing we won't see him again until Monday afternoon, but I couldn't get out of my funk. I felt like a bad mom who had no idea how to entertain and appease my 15 month old daughter who was super crazy due to only 9 hours of sleep the night before. I can usually pull myself out of those moods after a couple of hours but man I was struggling on Sunday. Not trying to be a Debbie downer friends, I'm just keeping it real. Some days are just hard being a mom, I'm not about to pretend that life is perfect and wonderful all the time.

HIGH: Having Emily (my sister) come over Sunday afternoon. We had a good bawl fest, then laughed our worries away. Sometimes you just need to vent, get things off your chest, have a good cry and then you feel better. Emily saved the day yesterday. I don't know what I would do without ANY of my sisters. They always come through when I need them.

HIGH: Being able to watch General Conference all weekend. I always feel uplifted, rejuvenated and inspired after listening to the talks given during General Conference. I especially enjoyed this talk, this talk, and this talk.

Despite the low moments of the weekend, I would say the HIGH points definitely out weigh the low points. The race was perfect, spending time together as a family when Mike was home was fabulous, watching General Conference was what I needed and I love laughing with my mom and sisters. I feel lucky to live so close to most (I miss you daily Mandy!) of my family.