I had to...

It just wouldn't be right if I didn't give Charlotte's second mother a birthday shout out today.

Happy birthday to my sweet sister Emily!!!!

Isn't she a hottie?

Words cannot describe how much I love this girl.

We've been best friends from the day she was born.

Being the two youngest of the girls in our family

we were always buddies and stuck together.

Emily has always been there for me

but she's been especially good to me this last year a half.

As you know I've had a few struggles since becoming a mom and Emily has never once failed to come over and brighten my day on some of those dark days.

I can NEVER thank her enough.

Besides myself and Mike, Emily has spent the most time with Charlotte.

We joke that Emily is Charlotte's second mother.

On family trips when Mike wasn't able to be there, Emily was right there with me helping out with Charlotte. She seriously saved my life on those trips.

Although it doesn't look like it in the picture above, Charlotte adores her too.

She gets so excited to see Emily and never hesitates to give Emily a love.

Emily has a heart of gold. She loves fiercely and is loyal to the bitter end.

She's so beautiful and freakin hilarious.

People who meet her fall in love with her instantly and want to be her friend.

She sends me awesome pictures of herself that I get to use as blackmail.

Please know the picture above was not taken seriously, that's just the way Emily is.

I don't know anyone who can text as fast as she can.

She has great fashion sense, is a stylist and helps me try to look like a "cute" mom.

She's introduced me to Hi-chews, and chewy purple penguins.

Emily even once spent $17.00 on beef jerky for us to have on a road trip in our car,

now that's love.

She's definitely helped me more than I have helped her in this life.

I'm lucky to call her my sister and best friend.

We love you Lou Lou!

Thanks for taking such good care of ALL the Walker family!

Happy birthday!

If you know Emily, please share some birthday love.

Delicious

After a month of opposites schedules, Mike working at night then sleeping during the day, we decided it was finally time for a date.

We paid for our first babysitter. Not a family member, a cute, young neighbor girl! I'm so proud of us for being able to leave her with someone we felt safe and comfortable with. We felt like such grown ups. Ok so maybe Charlotte was already in bed and asleep when I babysitter came. But at least it's a step towards being ready to really leave her with someone besides family.

We out went out for dessert.

Mike wasn't in scrubs or a shirt and tie. I was out of pajamas, showered and had my hair curled.

Charlotte was home asleep safe and sound.

And I had Mike to myself. Well he did have his pager, but at least it didn't go off!

We talked without interruptions, or the TV/computer blaring in the background.

Although it wasn't a date jammed packed with expensive, out of the ordinary activities, it was one of the best dates we've had in a long time.

Ahhhhh, dessert seriously never tasted so sweet.

We need to do this more often.

What do you do to make sure you and your hubby/boyf get QT together?

Do you have a set date night?

Do you have a favorite activity to do together?

Please share.

Tiger Mother

First off I want to say thanks for all the comments on the last post. Man I was feeling the love.

Just so you know....

I think I'm in a really good place with me running. I'm happy with the progress I've made and I have gotten to the point where I feel good physically and mentally with my running. I know I'm not the slowest runner out there by no means but when I run with some of my friends, (ie Katie M, Katie S, Lauren F, Lauren B, Liz G) I feel humbled by their amazing skillz. Make sense?

Also, most days I truly love being a mom and spending time with my lovey Charlotte. However I do have days that are hard and I think to myself that I'm not cut out for this stuff, and I can never imagine having more than one child. That said, the good days are much, much more often than the bad days and yes I will have more than one child, just not anytime soon. One of the goals of my blog is to keep things real and how they actually are. I'm not perfect, (although I really struggle with this and wish I was!) and I think we as women, mothers, friends, sisters can find strength in each other knowing we have similar feelings, experiences and situations. Make sense?

OK now onto the real reason I wanted to post in the first place. Has anyone read this book? I'm dying to talk to someone about it! I want to know your thoughts and feelings. If you haven't read it will you please pick it up and give it a try. It's a quick read, I promise, and it will hold your attention.

Here's a quick synopsis of the book:

From Publishers Weekly

Chua (Day of Empire) imparts the secret behind the stereotypical Asian child's phenomenal success: the Chinese mother. Chua promotes what has traditionally worked very well in raising children: strict, Old World, uncompromising values--and the parents don't have to be Chinese. What they are, however, are different from what she sees as indulgent and permissive Western parents: stressing academic performance above all, never accepting a mediocre grade, insisting on drilling and practice, and instilling respect for authority. Chua and her Jewish husband (both are professors at Yale Law) raised two girls, and her account of their formative years achieving amazing success in school and music performance proves both a model and a cautionary tale. Sophia, the eldest, was dutiful and diligent, leapfrogging over her peers in academics and as a Suzuki piano student; Lulu was also gifted, but defiant, who excelled at the violin but eventually balked at her mother's pushing. Chua's efforts "not to raise a soft, entitled child" will strike American readers as a little scary--removing her children from school for extra practice, public shaming and insults, equating Western parenting with failure--but the results, she claims somewhat glibly in this frank, unapologetic report card, "were hard to quarrel with." (Jan.)

(c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved.

I have such mixed feelings on this book. In some ways I totally agree with her thoughts and ideals and in other ways I'm completely horrified by how she treats her children.

Some food for thought:

Page 62, "Western parents worry a lot about their children's self esteem. But as a parent, one of the worst things you can do for your child's self-esteem is to let them give up. On the flip side, there's nothing better for building confidence than learning you can do something you thought you couldn't"

Page 63, "Western parents try to respect their children's individuality, encouraging them to pursue their true passions, supporting their choices, and providing positive reinforcement and a nurturing environment. By contrast, the Chinese believe that the best way to protect their children is by preparing them for the future, letting them see what they're capable of and arming them with skills, work habits and inner confidence that no one can ever take away."

Page 193, Inferring to her oldest daughter having the most responsibility, having to be counted on for everything, the one no one should have to worry about she says, "The problem is that Western culture doesn't see it that way. In Disney movies, the 'good daughter' always has to have a breakdown and realize that life is not all about following the rules and winning prizes, and then take off her clothes and run into the ocean or something like that. But that's just Disney's way of appealing to all the people who never win any prizes. Winning prizes gives you opportunities, and that's freedom-not running into the ocean."

Oh there is so much more I could put. Just pick it up, read it yourself and then lets talk.

PS Anyone finish Kristin Armstrong's book yet? I feel like the good old second grade teacher Mrs. Walker coming out assigning all these books to read and then wanting to discuss it!

Highs and Lows

We had a roller coaster of a weekend, with many good high points and some pretty bad down moments too.

HIGH: Running one of my favorite races, The Salt Lake 10 miler down Emigration Canyon

Salt Lake 10 miler April 2, 2011

Seeing Charlotte in the crowd, closing in on the finish line

Fellow 10 mile runners

Annie (my cousin), myself, and Liz Grant (who by the way is an AMAZING runner)

HIGH: Running with my cousin Annie. It's been a long time since we've been able to run together since we've both had babies in the last year and a half. It was such a treat to run hard together, chat and push each other to the end. I love my cousin Annie. It was also fun to hang out with Liz before and after the race. During the race we didn't see Liz. She is so freakin fast and took off from us during the race after about 1/10 of a mile. I've run a couple of times with her and it's always so kind of her to slow down for my turtle pace.

HIGH: Watching my brother in law Lance finish his first 10 mile race. There is nothing more inspiring than seeing someone finish a long race for the first time in their life. He did awesome and I'm so proud of him for pushing himself to do something challenging.

HIGH: Mike got home from work at noon Saturday afternoon. We got to spend the rest of the day together as a family

HIGH: Hanging out with my mom and sister Saturday evening. I love a night with my girls.

LOW: Feeling horribly sick Saturday night after pounding a burger and fries from Wendy's. Why do I allow myself to eat crap? Thought I would throw up for sure. Killed any sort of fun Saturday night plans once Mike got home from the Priesthood session of General Conference.

LOW: Charlotte waking up at 5:55 a.m. Sunday morning. I'm an early bird but not THAT early. I'm soooooooo over these early morning wakings. I'd even take 6:30 a.m. at this point.

LOW: Seeing the ground covered with snow Sunday morning, and having it snow throughout the day on Sunday. Rain, I'll take, even a cold rain but please no more snow.

LOW: Feeling super down and depressed Sunday. I don't know if it was the weather, the super early morning, or having Mike go to work for another 30 hours knowing we won't see him again until Monday afternoon, but I couldn't get out of my funk. I felt like a bad mom who had no idea how to entertain and appease my 15 month old daughter who was super crazy due to only 9 hours of sleep the night before. I can usually pull myself out of those moods after a couple of hours but man I was struggling on Sunday. Not trying to be a Debbie downer friends, I'm just keeping it real. Some days are just hard being a mom, I'm not about to pretend that life is perfect and wonderful all the time.

HIGH: Having Emily (my sister) come over Sunday afternoon. We had a good bawl fest, then laughed our worries away. Sometimes you just need to vent, get things off your chest, have a good cry and then you feel better. Emily saved the day yesterday. I don't know what I would do without ANY of my sisters. They always come through when I need them.

HIGH: Being able to watch General Conference all weekend. I always feel uplifted, rejuvenated and inspired after listening to the talks given during General Conference. I especially enjoyed this talk, this talk, and this talk.

Despite the low moments of the weekend, I would say the HIGH points definitely out weigh the low points. The race was perfect, spending time together as a family when Mike was home was fabulous, watching General Conference was what I needed and I love laughing with my mom and sisters. I feel lucky to live so close to most (I miss you daily Mandy!) of my family.

Some things are innate

Each day as Charlotte gets older I love watching little bits of personality come out. It's so funny to see the things that she does naturally on her own. Some of the innate characteristics/behaviors I find so endearing, others...mmmmm....not so much.

The following are examples of behaviors Charlotte has totally picked up on her own. She hasn't picked up these behaviors by Mike or mine example, and we didn't teach her these behaviors either.

1. Charlotte loves necklaces. She loves taking them off and on, wearing them around her neck, sucking on them, shaking them in the air, she can't get enough. Now friends, I NEVER wear necklaces. I'm not a big jewelry person AT ALL. Sure once in awhile I'll wear some Pretty Little Me earrings, but besides my wedding ring and a ring from one of my dearest friends, that's about all the jewelry I wear. She totally picked up on this habit on her own, she certainly didn't get it from me and she certainly didn't get it from her dad!

Endearing? Yes!

I don't want her too prissy but I do love the idea of her being a girly girl.

2. Charlotte is like any one year old. She's super curious and likes to test the boundaries. One day I had to tell her no, and remove her from the situation. I pick the girl up and she BITES ME. HARD!!!! I was shocked, hurt and pissed. Where did she get this behavior from? It seriously was just a natural instinct for her to bite. Luckily after a very firm no and some tears we haven't had a biting experience since. Please cross your fingers she doesn't bite again. I don't want to have a biter.

Can you see the teeth marks? This picture doesn't do justice to the horrific bite.

Endearing? NOT SO MUCH

3. I really don't like to carry a purse, even a diaper bag. I wear jackets specially so I can put the necessities in my pockets. Charlotte on the other hand loves purses and bags. She is constantly trying to wear them on her shoulder and carry them around. Such a girl.

Notice she is wearing a necklace in the pictures. Looks good with her Christmas pajamas right?

Yes, Charlotte still wears her Christmas pj's even if it almost April.

Endearing? Yes.

4. We got a baby for Charlotte for Christmas. (Stop what you are thinking, it's not for her to practice holding a baby for a baby brother or sister arriving soon. Not even CLOSE my friends. We just thought it would be sweet to get her one.) She loves that baby. She takes it everywhere. She gives it loves and kisses and I think it's so sweet. We haven't been around any babies, she doesn't see me hold one and take it everywhere, she just does it on her own. I love this new little behavior she has adopted. ONE day, later than sooner, Charlotte will be a great older sister.

Endearing? Yes and yes.

5. Charlotte has recently discovered noses. If she is sitting on your lap she will grab your nose and repeat the word nose over and over. She points to the baby's nose, the dog's nose, my nose, and her own nose. Well the other day as I'm cooking dinner, (Mike is gone so I stick her in her high chair with Baby Einstein on the lap top, so I can at least get one thing done without her pulling on my leg begging for me to hold her. Seriously dinner time is the hardest time of day! Anyone agree?) I look over and Charlotte has her finger IN her nose, still repeating the word nose over and over. Oh dear. Really? Not loving the idea of a nose picker.

Endearing? No.

Gross. Yes.

6. Charlotte just knows if she gets hurt or is sad she needs her mommy. Even if Mike is around, and something goes wrong, 99% of the time she comes to me. Kids just love their mommies.

Endearing? Yes.

Charlotte is not a natural snuggler.

She never has been.

So to get a hug from her is such a treat, even if it means she is sad.

Love this crazy pickle. She is a hand full and one stubborn girl, but man I love her spunky personality. I'll take a spit fire over a dud any day.

Love Affair

Charlotte is sleeping and I should be doing a million other things, but truth be told I've missed blogging, and I have to tell you about something.

For the past two weeks Mike has been working the overnight shift at the hospital. It's been pretty brutal for him. He would leave for work at 6:15 p.m. and come home the following morning about 7:30 a.m. head to our basement to sleep until about 5:00 p.m. and repeat the process all over again. It was a long couple of weeks. Poor Mike was always tired and Charlotte and I sure missed having our husband/dad around.

If you know me at all you know I hate being at home at night by myself. I don't sleep well. My mind lets unrealistic thoughts creep in which lead to nightmares, and movies going on my lap top nonstop through the night. This is the third time he has done this rotation and it's always a bummer to go through.

I'll tell you what made the evenings more bearable this time around on this rotation, my current love affair with Kristin Armstrong's book, Mile Markers The 26.2 Most Important Reasons Why Women Run. Once Charlotte was in bed and Mike had left for work, I'd cuddle up with this book and read until my heart's content.

P

I LOVE THIS BOOK

I can't think of anything better than a book about running. Reading and running, two of my greatest passions, what could be better?

I don't usually get into these types of books, but I haven't been able to put this one down. Kristin so eloquently says exactly how I feel about running, mothering, discipline, relationships, and life in general. Mike makes fun of me for how much I love this book, but really Kristin says it perfectly, and nails it over and over again.

Let me share some of this goodness,

page 88 "We can't do anything well, not one single remarkable thing, without reaching far enough beyond ourselves that we are bound to fail from time to time."

page 251 "I train because I want to be someone better than I would be if I didn't train."

page 241 "My own talents and reserves often feel like a drought, insufficient for the harvest. And yet somehow God carries me beyond my expected yield."

page 81 "When it comes down to it, determination has a greater impact than giftedness"

page 69 "When we run we are showing our children, teaching without words, that we value ourselves, our hearts, our fitness, our health, our friendships, our clarity, and our balance."

Don't you love those? I could go on and on, but really you should just go buy it yourself. Whether you are a runner, or wanting to be one, buy this book. It will get you out there, help you to love it and see the good in becoming a runner.

Now Mike would really make fun of me for this one, but I ran a race over the weekend in St. George and I swear reading this book helped me get a new PR (personal record) in the 10k distance. When I hit another uphill in the last mile, I'll be honest, I wanted to slow down, I wanted to walk but I thought of what Kristin Armstrong said about facing hard spots in a race/life, "When you reach your limit, your wall, the end of yourself---what happens next? What do you find there? Release? Relief? Grace? Do you have a breakdown or do you break it down? Do you make a plan or an excuse? What gives-the terrain, your goal or you?....That's when you find out what you are really up against and, in that same sweet moment, what you are really made of."

Ok it's not like I was running a marathon, not even a half marathon but I was pushing myself harder than I have in a long time and I could feel I was losing steam, but thinking of these words helped me push through to the end. It made me question What am I really made of? How am I going to react when I reach my limit? Fo me, I want to keep going whether that's just in a 10k or surviving being a single mom for a month while Mike is spending endless nights and days at the hospital.

Seriously go get this book. I've already sent it to one of my sisters, who wants to start running,and she has loved it as well. And once you've read it call me and we'll talk all about it.

PS Lance Armstrong seriously blew it when he lost Kristin. What a loser.

California

After being in Las Vegas for a couple of days (see the post below) we headed to San Diego to spend a few days with Mike's parents who were vacationing in Pacific Beach.

The first day we got there was mid 60's and sunny. We headed straight to the beach for Charlotte's first experience with the ocean.

She loved it.

In fact she cried when we took her out of the water.

My babies. I love them.

Charlotte laughing at her grandma and snuggling Mike.

Walking along the beach. Thanks Steve for carrying ALL of our stuff.

Uh yeah that was the sunset the first night we were there. Not bad eh?

We had to take Charlotte to see the seals in La Jolla.

I don't know if Charlotte enjoyed the seals or sea gulls more.

Either way she was one happy girl seeing so many animals.

Our little family at the fancy Hotel del Coronado.

Out of all the things we did and saw by far the favorite was seeing Charlotte with her grandparents. (It had been a few weeks since she had seen them because they had been on vacation) Charlotte loved having her grandparents undivided attention and Steve and Carol, as always were so playful and fun with Charlotte. Thank you Steve and Carol for letting us come crash your vacation and for spoiling our little Charlotte.

Other highlights of our vacation:

** Going out to dinner with our friends the Foulgers. They were so kind to take time out of their very busy schedules to have dinner with Mike and I and one ornery baby.

**Going for walks along the beach with our little family

**Going out to dinner with the Circuit cousins.

**Eating breakfast at Konos. To die for my friends.

**Vacation Mike, vacation Mike, vacation Mike.

We had an excellent vacation.

Coming back from our trip was pretty hard as you know, but we are once again healthy and back to our routine.

Mike is super busy with his current rotation and Charlotte as always, is keeping me on my toes.

Things are good,I really can't complain, but...

I may or may not be already counting down to Mike's next week of vacation.